Dealing With an Abusive Family Situation

Dealing With an

Abusive Family Situation

I N T RO D U C T I O N

 In our ministry, we re c e i ve letters from women who are living

in abusive situations. Since many of them do not feel or

b e l i eve that they can leave, they request that we write prayers to

cover this area of need. They are fe a rful of practicing tough love. A

need for securi ty plays a big role in their decision to remain where

t h ey are. Or, in certain cases, they fear increased or even more

s eve re abuse should they try to leave .Others have asked the abuser

to leave or have moved out themselves; yet, their request is for

p rayer for delive rance for the abuser and other family members.

When I am traveling, I often meet women who feel that it is

safe to talk with me. At the close of a meeting a few years ago, I

was approached by an attractive woman whom I recognized by her

manner of dress as belonging to a certain denomination. As she

shared her agony and emotional pain, I moaned inwardly. I took

her in my arm s , e n c o u raging her to go to her pastor for

counseling. Her answer grieved me. She had been told by both her

husband and her pastor that the beatings were because of her

“rebellious nature.”

“I don’t know what else I can do to stop the abuse,” she

confided. “I’ve tried to please my husband. Scripturally, I cannot

leave him. What can I do but stay with him? I don’t want to

disobey God, but I want the abuse to stop.”

When we turn to the Scriptures, we find that God is much

more merciful than we human beings. Jesus is our Example, and

in one incident He turned around and walked away from the

crowd who would have thrown Him off a cliff (Luke 4:28-30).

There are times to take action; change brings change. Often we

want God to do something when all the time He is waiting for us

to do something: “Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don’t

try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God’s voice in

everything you do, everywhere you go; he’s the one who will keep

you on track” (Prov. 3:5,6 MESSAGE).

A testimony of deliverance from abusive behavior was shared

by a young husband who had been born again for only a short

time. His mother had given him a copy of The Living Bible. One

day he picked it up and read Malachi 2:15,16: “You were united to

your wife by the Lord. In God’s wise plan, when you married, the

two of you became one person in his sight. And what does he

want? Godly children from your union. Therefore guard your

passions! Keep faith with the wife of your youth. For the Lord, the

God of Israel, says he hates divorce and cruel men. Therefore

control your passions — let there be no divorcing of your wives.”

The young man said, “When I read these verses, I realized

that I was treating my wife cruelly and admitted to myself that the

addictions in my life were controlling me. It wasn’t so much that

I wanted to stop doing drugs, but I did want to change the way

that I was treating my wife. I cried out to God, and He heard me

and delivered me.”

The following prayer was written for Christian women who

want to know how to pray prayers that avail much while in an

abusive family situation.

P RAY ER

Father, Your Word says that You loved me and my family so

much that You sent Your very own Son, Jesus, to die for our sin so

we could live with You forever. You said that You would give us a

new life that is wonderful and rich. I pray that I may become like

You, for I am Your child and You love me.

By Your gra c e, Father, I will live my life in love . Your love in

me is not a fe e l i n g, but a decision re q u i ring more than mere word s .

As a Christian I am “light,” and I will live as a child of the Light.

The Light produces in me all that is good and right and true.

Lord, lead me in paths of righteousness for Your name’s sake.

I purpose to live with a due sense of responsibility, not as others

who do not know the meaning of life, but as one who does. Direct

me by Your Holy Spirit that I may make the best use of my time,

despite all the evils of these days.

Father, there was a time when You looked for an intercessor. I

am willing to stand in the gap and make up the hedge so that my

family will not suffer judgment. Send Your Holy Sp i rit to convict,

c onv i n c e, and demon s t rate to us about sin, righteousness, and

judgment. G i ve us a heart of flesh and send a laborer of the harvest

to share with us the Gospel of the glory of Christ (the Messiah).

I thank You, Father, that each family member who is lost

receives and confesses that Jesus is his/her Lord, and I ask that

Your will be done in his/her life. It is You Who rescues him/her

from the dominion of darkness, and You translate him/her into

the Kingdom of the Son of Your love. In the name of Jesus, I ask

that You help him/her to grow in gra c e, that he/she may

experience Your love and trust You to be his/her Father.

Lord, reveal the steps that I should take to break what

appears to be a generational curse. The sins of the fathers are being

repeated in our household, and I do not want this curse passed

down to my children.

Father, Your Word says that we are overcomers by the blood

of the Lamb and by the word of our testimony. In the name of

Jesus, I am committing my life to You — to obey You. Show me

the path of life for me and my family.

Uncontrollable, irrational anger, rage, and abuse are a curse.

Your Son, Jesus, was made a curse for us; therefore, I put on Your

whole armor that I may be able to successfully stand against all the

strategies and the deceits of the devil.

In the name of Jesus, I am the redeemed, and I plead the

blood of Jesus over my family. I thank You that the evil power of

abuse is broken, overthrown, and cast down out of my family. The

abuse is exposed and reproved by the light — it is made visible and

clear; and where everything is visible and clear, there is light.

You sent Jesus to bind up our heart a ches and to heal our

pain.The Bible says that You have sent Your Wo rd to heal us and

to deliver us from our own destructions. Give us the grace and

faith to re c e i ve healing and to forgive those who have abused us;

thank You for the courage to make amends to those whom we

have harmed.

Teach us how to guard our hearts with all diligence. I declare

and decree that we are growing in grace and the knowledge of

You, developing the trust we need to receive Your transforming

power to change. I make my petitions known to You with

thanksgiving, in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Scripture References

John 3:16 1 Peter 3:18

John 10:10 Revelation 12:11

Ephesians 5:1 PHILLIPS Psalm 16:11

1 John 3:18 AMP Galatians 3:13

Ephesians 5:8,9 PHILLIPS Ephesians 6:11 AMP

Psalm 23:3 Ephesians 5:13 AMP

Ephesians 5:15,16 PHILLIPS Luke 4:18

Ezekiel 22:30 Psalm 107:20

John 16:8 AMP Matthew 5:44

Ezekiel 11:19 Proverbs 4:23

Matthew 9:38 Romans 12:2

Matthew 6:10 Philippians 4:6 NIV

Colossians 1:13